


The Bet

by HashtagPomegranate



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Competition, F/F, F/M, Goofs and Gags, Idiots in Love, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, OT3, Underworld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28879656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HashtagPomegranate/pseuds/HashtagPomegranate
Summary: Zagreus, being his constant upbeat self, bets his girlfriend, Meg, that they can make their boyfriend, Thanatos, laugh.
Relationships: Megaera/Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 97





	The Bet

**Author's Note:**

> I hadn't though to write fic for this, but jokingly mentioned to someone that the tags on AO3 were overwhelmingly for Zagreus/Thanatos, leaving out a perfectly good OT3. Once she started playing the game, she threw out some ideas, and then I couldn't help myself but to get started on this. We ended up co-writing it and just in general having a bunch of fun. This is posted with her permission.
> 
> But have fun with my favorite OT3 in the Hades universe.

Zagreus didn’t so much walk into the room as he did zip. Megara could tell he was coming even before he had entered the lounge. She ignored him, like she always did,  preferring to wait until he managed to settle down before granting him notice . He was like a puppy. You couldn’t always punish the bad behavior out of him, but refusing to give him attention usually had an effect.

Before he was actually in front of her, he practically slammed a bottle of Ambrosia on the table. 

“I told you, I can’t actually accept this contraband.” She bit out.

“Good thing it isn’t for you…” Well that was new.  Suddenly, her curiosity was piqued. No immediate gift from Zagreus on his exit from the Styx, that definitely was new. “Not yet, at least.” He finished a bit lamely.

“ So you’re bringing it here for… what exactly? To show off?” She rolled her eyes at the thought “Good job, Zagreus, you got more contraband. Congratulations.” 

He deflated ever so slightly with her spitting sarcasm, but brushed it off quickly. “How would you feel about a little competition?” he offered, and cocked his eyebrow in the specific way that he knew would get under her skin. It didn’t matter how many times she had told him to ‘wipe that smirk off his face,’ Zagreus always noted the subtle twitch at the corner of her lips, the tiniest hint of a smile, at this particular expression of his. 

He also knew her well enough to know that her competitive nature would ultimately get the best of her.

And there it was, the subtle pull at the corner of her lips, followed by a drawn out sigh. They both knew he had won in this inconsequential battle, although she would never admit it. “ And what , exactly , needs to be done in order for it to be mine?” She involuntarily leered at her boyfriend. As juvenile as his attempts to leave had been, it had changed a lot of things for the better. 

“Than.” He said, smiling.

“I’ve already done Than, thank you very much. I’m disappointed you don’t remember.”

He laughed easily, more easily than anyone else in the underworld. Even with Queen Persephone back, things were lighter, but laughter was still rare. 

“ I never would have known, I suppose it actually was the two of you in my bedcha-” the warning glance from Meg quieted him. “Well, while  I wouldn’t mind if that was the case, I  was considering something a little less…” He trailed off and the two were forced into the briefest of awkward moments. He cleared his throat, hoping to clear the air as well , “I want to wager on Than.”

“Those are dangerous waters there Zagreus.” She didn’t think Than would appreciate his lovers betting on him.  He may be skilled at hiding his vulnerabilities behind the defenses he had carefully built, but it didn’t change the fact that  Than’s very  real emotions  were still underneath it all. Emotions that Meg pretended she didn’t have and emotions that Zagreus wore so clearly on his face.

Speaking of emotions,  Meg could clearly read the disappointment registering as  Zagreus frowned. “I didn’t mean anything bad… I just. He doesn’t laugh.”

Meg chuckled at that. “Zagreus, we’re in the underworld. Most people here don’t laugh.”

He pointed at her, “But you just laughed. You laugh, and I laugh, and Than…. He doesn’t laugh. Not even with us…”

She thought back and realized  that Zagreus was right; she couldn’t remember the last time Thanatos had laughed , or if he had ever laughed at all. Than hadn’t allowed that show of emotion out; not in the lounge, not around Hypnos, not  even in the quiet, private moments the three of them shared. “Fine. If it’s a wager, what are our rules?”

Zagreus whooped and jumped up in the air, his heels kicking off a few sparks. “Okay, okay.” He seemed to shake his head to get back into the game. “We keep it simple, we do whatever we can to make him laugh. A smile isn’t good enough, a “That’s very funny Zagreus” doesn’t count. Just laughter.” Meg would never tell him, but his Thanatos impression was pretty well done, even if the stone-face wasn’t quite accurate. 

“We only do it here, none of the other realms count. I’m not going to have you messing up my work. Your father already thinks I go too easy on you.

He considered that for a second. “Deal.” 

“We start tomorrow.” Meg added. At the questioning look from Zagreus, she rolled her eyes. “I want some time to start thinking. No doubt you already have ideas. This gives me a chance to catch up.”

He leaned in and smiled. “I do love your dedication.”

She glared, “You’d enjoy my dedication more if you stopped having my sisters join my work schedule using that ridiculous pact.”

He laughed, “Speaking of the pact, I gotta go. I want to see if I can make Theseus cry when I give Asterius a present.” He waved another bottle of Ambrosia around and zipped out. 

Meg knocked back the rest of her drink. It was about time to beat the shit out of her boyfriend. She refused to think he might win again.

  
  
  
  


It started early the next morning. Meg still wasn’t sure to start, but it was clear what Zagreus’ first attempt was even as she stepped into the great hall. The spot Hypnos had chosen to make his own didn’t currently hold the demigod in his normal state of sleep. Instead, it held Zagreus, greeting Thanatos as he escorted a new soul to the underworld. 

The red robe was almost a foot too short, and the wig that he was wearing looked as if it had been made from whatever had been discarded by the head chef. 

“Well hello Thanatos,” Zagreus said in an eerily high pitch. “Time to check in the new soul.”

Than’s brow furrowed. “What are you doing Zagreus?”

“Just filling in for Hypnos. He overslept.”

Meg smiled, this first attempt was clearly failing. 

Thanatos peered around Zagreus and said. “At least you’re checking them in. I’ve got another appointment.” With a puff of purple smoke, Thanatos was gone. 

“Well, that was wonderful. Tell me Zagreus, how did you come up with something that worked so… well?” She smirked at his frustration. 

“I was hilarious, he just doesn’t understand proper humor.”

“Sure, HE doesn’t understand humor.” Meg couldn’t help but to laugh, just a little. In a different circumstance she would have gone over there and kissed him, the dejection being too cute to ignore. But they were in public. And that was one of their boundaries. Until things were a little more settled, neither Meg nor Than wanted anyone to assume they had gotten their positions only through Zagreus.

But, she knew she could pay him back later. 

  
  
  


Meg had just pulled herself out of the River Styx, spitting out some blood she had taken in when decrying her loss. 

She wiped her eyes clear and saw Than talking to the real-Hypnos. It was time. 

As she walked past him, she gently nudged him, the same way she did Zagreus, and winked once he looked at her. She walked straight up to Cerberus and quietly said, “Okay furball, don’t bite me.” And walked straight into his tongue. She grimaced as he licked her entire body from three angles. It was clear that Zagreus had given him some Satyr sacks recently because his breath was foul enough that she had to work to not cough. 

It was hard not to shiver with disgust as she walked away from Thanatos and towards their quarters. “Finally clean.” She growled. It was clear from the slight consternation on Than’s face that her plan didn’t work either.

She thought she was in the clear, but Zagreus caught her just as she exited the grand hall. He beamed at her, with an irritating, yet somehow charming, smile. “Megaera, did you do something with your hair?” 

She swore under her breath, promising to herself that that stupid smirk of his would be the first thing to get knocked off next time they met in Tartarus.

“Really, Meg. You look absolutely  _ glistening _ ! You’re the  _ spitting _ image of-” the slam of her door in Zagreus’ face was enough to shut him up, as long as she counted ‘laughing instead of talking’ as shutting up. She ignored his fading laughter to focus on what was really important. A new approach.

  
  
  


A scalding hot shower was all she needed to craft the perfect plan and to remove the smell of dog-breath and satyrs, although she’d rather forget that ever happened. This new tactic of hers would require assistance. Meg made her way to the lounge to find just the gorgon she was looking for.

“Dusa, you’re almost on your break, right?”

“O-oh! Yeah, I mean yes. Although, if you need anything it can wait! Is there something I can help you with?” Meg cocked her head slightly, and smiled.

“I was just wondering if you’d like to have a drink together. Catch up.” Meg stood near an empty table, gesturing to the space across from her. It might take a drink or two to get Dusa on board with her plan, but Meg wouldn’t mind the chance to unwind for a moment. And, hey, if Dusa needed a few moments, then maybe Meg could get a headstart and clear her mind of the slobbering mess she had made herself earlier.

“That would be great! Thanks, Meg. You… don’t mind waiting a few minutes right?” The way Dusa could flip between ecstatic to a nervous wreck in the flip of a coin always concerned Meg, but she knew Dusa was just doing what she could to keep everyone happy and to keep herself employed. Meg understood, to a degree, it’s a tough (after)life, and a girl has got to do what she can to stay on top.

“As long as you don’t mind that I get us started off with a round.” Dusa smiled before flitting off to the next rafter to be dusted, and Meg made her way to the bar. After gathering a few drinks, mostly for herself, she returned to her table and allowed herself the space to breathe.

“Megara.”

And like that, she was whisked back to reality, back to the damn competition she had gotten herself into. “Thanatos. Fancy seeing you here.”

Than sighed, “We have the same employer. We’re bound to see each other  at work. ” He eyed the empty seat at her table. “Mind if I sit, just for a moment between assignments?”

She gave a curt nod, and Than sat down, perfectly posed. He carefully dismissed his scythe, banishing it into the ether. Meg kicked herself; she didn’t plan to run into Than until much later, and without Dusa’s help she couldn’t pull off her next attempt. The idea of a backup plan hadn’t really occurred to her, but she was nothing if not resourceful, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to miss a golden opportunity dropping right into her lap.

“Hey Than, did you know that, on one of his many failed attempts, Zag got all the way to the end of Asphodel, only to immediately drown himself in lava? I have to say, that’s one of his top ten stupid deaths.” 

Than looked at her quizzically. “I… didn’t know about that. He never mentioned it.”

It wasn’t a lot to build off of, but gods it was a start. She pressed on. “He took down every single one of those hydra heads while horribly wounded. But you know Zag, he got impatient on his way to his reward and…” she mimicked a tiny explosion “overshot it right into the Phlegethon. Next thing he knows, it’s back to the Styx.”

“Huh.” Meg analyzes Thanatos’ expression. Slightly bemused, a faint smile began to form, she was  _ getting somewhere _ .

“What exactly was it that Hypnos said? ‘Have you tried not running into lava?’ Something like that; Than, I really wish you could have seen Zag’s face. It might be my favorite memory of him.” She cracked a smile herself, reminiscing on the moment like a cherished memory. “I swear,  I didn’t realize that a god could go quite that red. Even covered in the blood of the Styx, his blush shined brightly.”

Death himself let out a sharp exhale alongside a twisted smile, ‘does that count? No probably not, best keep pushing’ Meg was ready to deliver her final blow, to really get Than to crack but-

“Hi Meg and… O-oh! Master Thanatos, I-I’m sorry, am I interrupting?”

Than’s face snapped back to his ever present frown, the neutral face he had perfected throughout the years. He looked up at Dusa, “No, I was just about to leave.” A quick glance at Meg. “Thanks for the chat, Meg. It really brightened my day.” He stuck an arm out to summon his scythe and poof, ever-dedicated, returned to his work.

Meg deflated slightly, she knew she almost had him. Unfortunately, Dusa could sense her frustration (or was this just how she reacted to everyone) and flew into a flurry of apologies before Meg could react and make her stop.

“Dusa, please, don’t worry about it. Zag and I have this little… bet going.”

Without fail, the mention of Zagreus had an immediate effect on Dusa. It amused Meg to see the gorgon blush, the pink tint along her cheeks mixing awkwardly with her green hue. It was no secret that Dusa had a soft spot for the prince, not that he had done much to stop it, giving her all that ambrosia.

“I-I see! Um, if you don’t mind my asking, if that’s alright, what… exactly is this bet?”

“Well, Dusa” Meg leaned forward, propping both arms on the table, and clasped her hands as if she was about to give a serious address. “I actually wanted to know if you’d be willing to-”

“Ah, Dusa! I was just looking for you!” Meg’s heart sank in time with her shoulders falling. Of course Zagreus would interrupt. Of course he was looking for Dusa, whose face was almost entirely pink at this point.

“Zagreus,” could he not hear the malice dripping from his name or was he choosing to ignore it? “We’re in the middle of something.”   
  


He lazily waved her off, beaming at Dusa, “I’m sure Dusa won’t mind, Meg. Would you, Dusa? It’ll just be a moment of your time.”

Dusa’s eyes flitted back and forth between the two, agonizing over the impromptu decision she was now forced to make.

“U-um I-I… Just a moment, r-right? That would be ok, w-wouldn’t it, Meg?” Damn his insufferable charm, it was going to work. Meg slumped in her seat, Zagreus knew exactly what he was doing. Megaera, for all her faults, was not one to add even more stress to the gorgon she considered a friend. So, she crossed her arms and silently motioned forward. “Thanks, Meg! You’re the best!”

She knew that Zagreus was playing her, but his audacity to wink at her in this particular moment made her seethe. Not just because he was stealing Dusa away just now, but because it still managed to make her own cheeks flush and  _ gods _ if she wasn’t going to take it out on him the next time she was working.

“Dusa, listen. I’ve got a very fun idea for you and I, something to get Than to laugh. A foolproof plan, really.” Meg scoffed, he really was going to explain his plan right here, right in front of her. His mistake, she could easily thwart whatever asinine idea he had come up with. “All you need to do is float riiiight” he gestured around his head “here and pretend to talk when I do.”

“W-wait… like I’m your-”

“You ’re a piece of shit, Zagreus!” Meg stood up and slammed her hands down on the table, enough force to knock her drink over. He looked at her with surprise, glanced down at her drink, back at her. 

“Megaera, you’re making a scene.”

“ _ I _ was  _ just _ about to ask Dusa to be my head and, now what, you’re stealing my idea?” She didn’t want to consider the possibility that they had both come to the same conclusion, that Zag could possibly have come up with such a brilliant scheme as “make Dusa pretend to be your puppet.” It was much more probable that the god of blood had stolen into her mind, rooted around carelessly and plucked this single scheme from her.

Dusa looked at the two of them, sweating. “I-I don’t want to be any trouble you guys…”   
  
“Dusa, please. Come on, Meg. I only pillage within my father’s realm, I would never steal from you. Besides, I asked first, so…” he turned his gaze back to Dusa. “What do you say?”

“I-I” Dusa studied Meg’s face, looking, begging for approval. “I…”

“Fine.” A final slam on the table from Meg and, suddenly, the shades within the lounge understood where the designation ‘fury’ came from. She whipped around, fists clenched, and stormed out of the room. “But when your plan inevitably fails,  _ Zagreus _ , don’t blame me.” She wasn’t about to watch his cheer of success, his scheming with Dusa, and his possible win for this competition.

  
  


It wasn’t until she had returned to her chambers that she realized she h ad left an utter mess in the lounge that some poor shade would have to clean up . While she would absolutely maintain her pride, it didn’t hurt to offer a short apology to the staff, possibly alongside a generous tip and an order for something much, much stronger. With a deep breath to steel her nerves, she strode back to the lounge to clean up her tantrum in dignity. Meg happily noted Zagreus’ and Dusa’s absence and, once she had cleared her conscience of the mess she had made, found her way over to a table tucked away into a corner, where she could lick her wounds in peace.

  
  


When Zagreus made it back to the lounge, where Meg was still dejectedly sipping her drink, he looked as bereft as she did. “I take it your attempts were a failure.”

Zagreus was still shoving the keys and gems he had received from the head chef into his pockets, even as he sighed and hung his head. “ Dusa got cold feet. Er… cold something. We were all set to go but as soon as she actually saw Than she crumpled. Flew off to gods know where. Meg,  I’m beginning to think it’s impossible.”

“Coming from the fool who bulldozed his way through hell, dying in more unlikely ways than most people could fathom, that truly is a statement.”  As if on cue,  Than practically glided into the room. It almost made Meg sigh. She appreciated his grace and calm nature in the same way that she appreciated Zagreus’ never-ending (and sometimes painful) optimism and quick thinking. 

Zagreus rolled his eyes. “Most of the ways weren’t that unlikely. I think being blown up by a flamewheel isn’t unlikely.”

“That is their job, after all.” Meg drawled before taking a pointed sip of her drink.

Than started to head over to grab a drink, but Zagreus stuck out his hand. “You’ve been working all day. Let me.”

“I could argue that you have as well, Zagreus, but I won’t stop you.” 

Zagreus smiled and lightly bumped Than’s shoulder, the extent of affection they showed in public, before turning and hopping slightly before he zipped forward. He clearly hadn’t noticed the rug was slightly scrunched and his foot failed to grip and he face-planted mere feet away from the table.

Meg barked out a laugh, almost knocking her drink over. For someone so quick and graceful, especially someone who had turned escaping from hell into a career, such a stupid mistake was truly a delight for his audience. It took her a second to notice a raspy chuckle coming from her side. 

Thanatos was partially bent over, one hand clutching the table while the other wrapped around his ribs. “Zagreus,” he wheezed, “you’ve beaten countless mythical creatures, only to be taken out by a decoration. A decoration  _ you picked _ . ” He managed to push himself back to standing, but leaned against Meg for support while he recovered, still chuckling absentmindedly.

Zagreus popped up, eyes glowing. “That means I won.”  His arm shot out, pointing victoriously at Meg. “That definitely means I won!”

“It wasn’t a purposeful attempt. So, no, you didn’t.”  But her protests were met with little acknowledgement, as Zagreus lifted both hands above his head and jumped.

“A technicality that wasn’t limited by the rules! I win!” He pulled a bottle of Ambrosia seemingly out of nowhere and placed it on the table.

“What am I missing?” Thanatos asked, looking between the two of them.  In their moments of respective celebration and discontentment, Zagreus and Megaera hadn’t noticed that Thanatos had straightened himself back to his full height, laughter replaced with a furrowed brow and slightly pursed lips. The two combatants glanced back at each other, Zag’s excitement already beginning to fade as ‘was that guilt?’ start to set in. Meg rolled her eyes as she realized she would have to be the one to smooth things over.

“Zagreus wanted us to compete for your affections.” 

Thanatos’ face went a little blank in the way it did when he was uncomfortable, but didn’t want to show it. “Ah.”

“C’mon Meg.” Zagreus was back to standing and looked at Than, “We were competing to try to make you laugh. Nothing more. And we only started yesterday.”

Than looked at the two of them consideringly. “So, the thing with the dog,” he said towards Meg, “and Hypnos?” he said towards Zag. 

They nodded. 

“I was wondering why you two were acting so strange. This certainly explains it.”

Zagreus picked up the bottle, “And ” he nudged Than slightly, which Than pretended not to notice, “ I won!”

“Yes, you won something you already had.” Meg muttered, only a little bitter.

“Well, luckily for you two,” Zagreus continued like he hadn’t heard her, “I’m willing to share.” His eyes flared. Meg smiled and looked at Thanatos.  Zagreus smirked at the two, and carefully hopped over the fold in the rug, heading to the bar to procure glasses for the three of them.

Under his breath and to no one in particular, Than muttered “He really is something, isn’t he.” Meg chuckled, causing Than to fumble a bit. “I... said that out loud. I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine, Than” she hovers her hand over his back, wondering if the slightest physical touch would be against their self-imposed rules. Ultimately she decides she doesn’t care if it is and Meg gives him a tentative pat. “He really is.”

The two of them smile slightly at that, and watch as Zagreus turns to return with his prize. Clearly hoping for more attention from the two, he checks to make sure they’re looking before performing an over-the-top production of carefully checking each aspect of the rug before setting a foot down. Every few steps, he’d look up for their approval, which came in the form of rolled eyes from Megaera and a wry smile from Thanatos.

Than turned his head slightly, leaning in a little closer to the fury. “You know, for all the competition between you two” he whispered softly and Meg noted that Zagreus was still out of ear shot, “ I feel like I may have won something here instead.”

  
  



End file.
